What happened to Hypotheticalvictim?

I have been sharing a story of a fictional character with a corny name, Hypotheticalvictim. This kid lives in a semi-futuristic setting where the schools have been expanded to teach children how to walk and talk. Now, we will see how this failure faired later in life.

Since Hypotheticalvictim struggled in school, he was not well suited for college. More importantly, he felt that he could no longer cope with the schooling system. How about that? I have something in common with Hypotheticalvictim. He might as well have used a line from my life. When I was through with school, I was through with school.

Unfortunately, the entire workforce now demands a college-level education. Without the piece of paper, there’s not a whole lot of hope for Hypotheticalvictim. He has some skills, but that’s not enough.

Hypotheticalvictim really struggled to find work. Most jobs require the proper monotone and the standardized walking movements taught in school. Businesses have evolved to utilize these patterns. Most businesses use software that focuses strictly on the proper monotone speech patterns since they are more efficient to design than addressing variable speech patterns.

Facility layouts are designed based on the assumption that all workers will walk as expected. This is especially problematic because those who do not walk in the one and only correct manner could clip a corner or stumble on a cord that was placed where everybody should naturally step over. If it is determined that a person who walks improperly was hired, anyone who is stumbled into could easily sue and win. Not surprisingly, most businesses fear hiring people such as Hypotheticalvictim.

Knowing about the problems that he had to face, Hypotheticalvictim aimed low. He applied to a fast food restaurant. What was he thinking? Not only did he not go to college, but he needs a doctorate for this job. How could anyone ever get a job in the fast food industry without a PhD in burger flipping?

Hypotheticalvictim never found a job. He quickly became a drain on society. By a strange coincidence, his former talking instructor bumped into him. In case you didn’t read through Hypotheticalvictim’s past, his teacher went by the name of Mrs. Deafmute. She watched over him and his deviant behavior for years.

Mrs. Deafmute felt sorry for Hypotheticalvictim. If only something could be done to keep children out of this predicament. She had an idea. She would go public with his plight and push for education reform.

Mrs. Deafmute found a sympathetic journalist. She revealed the life story of Hypotheticalvictim. Or at least the parts of his life that she knows about. “Hypotheticalvictim fell through the cracks in the system. We didn’t invest enough in him or children like him. We must increase funding and expand the schools to ensure that children like him go on to college. Otherwise, they will be completely incompetent and worthless like Hypotheticalvictim.”

She even explained one particular area where the schools need to expand. “This is a child who once peed his pants in front of the entire class. I have never heard that this problem was fixed, and he failed to continue to college. It is a safe assumption that he continually pees his pants to this day. Hypotheticalvictim, who can frequently be found on Mistreatment Street on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Friday between the hours of 9 AM and noon, doesn’t deserve this kind embarrassment. I don’t want people pointing at him and calling him, ‘Pee Pants’ or ‘Urinator’ or even ‘the Yellow Blunder.’ I care. For that reason, I really feel that we need to take over toilet training from the parents. After all, parents are clearly failing these children while us teachers are flawless. Oh, yeah. Remember that we need more money for our flawless methods to work.”

Mrs. Deafmute’s cause and Hypotheticalvictim’s plight became big news. The schools managed to push forward a bill known as Hypotheticalvictim’s Bill. The bill easily passed. The schools have more money than ever before, and their reach has expanded.

Hypotheticalvictim’s life never improved. In fact, it got worse. Despite Mrs. Deafmute’s defense, he actually suffered more humiliation than he did before. He lived a mentally and emotionally  painful life and died young. Even though Mrs. Deafmute cared, she never acknowledged his demise.

I could follow up this story with the life of Yetanothervictim, but that would be too redundant. Yes, the schools have expanded. They just haven’t changed much. Most of Yetanothervictim’s story mirrors the life of Hypotheticalvictim. Although Yetanothervictim’s life turned out even worse, I’m not a good enough writer to convince anyone to read the same story with the old find and replace.