What Would I Do Differently?

Everybody has regrets. I’m no different in that regard. If only I could go back so I could pay my phone bill on time… I mean correct some of my mistakes.

The big thing about my past is that schooling clearly was detrimental to my development. I had options, but I took the cowardly approach of sacrificing myself in order to call myself a certified mindless drone. How would I like to have handled my school years? I’m not entirely certain, but I have ideas.

One thing that I probably should have done was stand up for myself. I could have openly argued about the harm that the schools cause. Whenever a levy was on the ballots, I could have made my voice heard and insisted that investing in the harmful environment would be a huge mistake. There were a lot of students who felt obligated to support the levies. Perhaps I could have provided the voice for students who actually cared. At the very least, I could have made an effort to help people understand the truth about the process.

Another idea that I have had would have been a protest of sorts. As long as I was in school, I could have made an effort to prove my point. I could have sacrificed grades for education. I actually did this on a limited basis, but held back enough to graduate. I could have learned as much as possible, which would not have allowed me to complete any of my schoolwork. If I hadn’t held back, I could have made it clear to others that learning is detrimental to grades.

Once I realized that schooling was harmful, I could have dropped out in order to pursue a healthy education. This might not have given me opportunities to raise awareness of the the schools’ abundant problems, but I would have become a better person. In all honesty, I don’t fully understand why I willingly subjected myself to torture. Staying in school has got to be the biggest mistake that I have ever made in my life.

Even with my misguided decision to stay in school, I still had one last opportunity to salvage my childhood. I could have made a statement and refused my diploma. This is probably the least desirable of the options that I’m mentioning because I was given my diploma by someone who partially restored my educational rights. I was in a monitored homeschooling program where I actually had some flexibility to take some responsibility for my education. Even so, it was an opportunity to be heard, and I hid in the shadows. In many ways, this was always my problem. I was too cowardly to do what was right.