My Confession

This post was adapted from something that I had previously written.

It’s no secret that I do not consider myself to be a product of the schools, but I have to confess to something horrible. I do have mindlessness certification. I do have a high school diploma.

In my defense, I was so close to finishing when I decided to stay in school. I also feared the mistreatment that I would have received if I had been labeled as a dropout. Even with these things taken into consideration, I feel that there is no legitimate excuse for subjecting myself to something that makes me a worse person.

I have been known to act as a mindless drone when I feel the pressure to do so. I have downplayed my resentment toward that piece paper pretty much every time that I have been asked. I pretend to be mindless in order to convince people that I have a mind. I sacrifice myself for appearance. In many ways, this is my biggest flaw. I don’t feel that it’s in my best interest to pretend to be less of a person than I intend to become. Unfortunately, I have been known to let the pressure get to me.

I prefer who I am while I am posting rants online. Instead of pretending to be mindless, I try to show the deeper me. I like the deeper me. I certainly don’t want people to assume that I am just another stupid high school graduate. Instead of downplaying my hatred of my diploma on this blog, I downplay any amount of schooling success that I may appear to have had. This may not be what others like to hear, but I feel that it is what’s right.

A lot of people act as though earning a diploma makes them better people. My fear of being mistreated has me not just admitting to earning a diploma, but also acting proud of the shame. Every time that I do this, I am misrepresenting myself. I am not just another product of the schools. My piece of paper does not define who I am.

I hope you appreciate me coming clean. I don’t think anyone realizes how difficult it is for me to admit to being a graduate. Hopefully, you don’t think any less of me for finishing high school. In all honesty, I really think that I should have refused my diploma. That piece of paper says nothing positive about me and makes me feel like I gave up on myself. While some people regret dropping out, I feel that staying in school is one of my deepest regrets. I made a mistake, but at least I can admit to it.